the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
