In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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