I think i peed on brittanys purse
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
