I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
