I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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