i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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