How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he quoted the bible to break up with me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
