I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
