Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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