Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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