Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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