If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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