Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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