I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
