yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
