I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
