a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
