1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize