is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
