Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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