first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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