I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
