I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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