the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
