three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
