I am puke
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
