Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
