I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
