I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
