yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
