forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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