You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
