just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
