The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
