Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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