I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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