I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
