i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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