I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
