The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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