SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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