my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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