I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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