i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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