Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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