Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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