We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
