I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
40s are totally the cure
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
