She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
