I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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