I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
