Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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