I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
