My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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