i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
