East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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