i already hear my dad disowning me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
