She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
40s are totally the cure
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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