have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
