ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize