he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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