Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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