Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
