He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
