We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
